Q: 143 – Title: I made a vow to fast every month if my previous boyfriend was released from jail, but now I am married to someone else. What should I do about this vow? Also, I lied to my husband that I am younger than him. Is our nik?h valid? Should I tell him the truth?

Question

1. I was involved with a boy for the past few years, but broke up with him two months ago.  I was not physically involved, but I did kiss and hug him once.  I regret it a lot and I am extremely ashamed of this relationship.  During our relationship, this guy was jailed for his criminal record.  I was very worried, so I made a mannat that, if he gets free from jail, I will keep one fast every month for the rest of my life.  But, I am married now to somebody else.  I do not want to do such a mannat. Is there any alternative?  Also, how can I keep a nafl fast without my husband’s approval, keeping in mind I do not want to tell my husband about this mannat?

2. When I got married to my husband, I lied to him that I am six months younger to him, but the truth is that I am actually six months older.  I feel guilty about this, but I know that if my husband finds out the truth, our family will be badly disturbed and I fear that he would divorce me.  Should I take the risk of telling him the truth?  Is out nikah nullified for lying to him about my age?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh.

1. Since you made a vow to fast once a month, it is necessary for you to do so.  You do not have to explain to your husband why you fast each month.  Rather, you should explain to him the rewards and virtues of fasting, and that it is sunnah to fast on certain days during the month, such as on Mondays and Thursday and on the 13^th, 14^th, and 15^th of the lunar month.  Hence, instead of giving up your fasts, you should encourage him to fast at least once a month, too.  Even if he chooses not to engage in the sunnah fasts, it is highly unlikely that he will prevent you from doing so for even once a month.  InshaAllah, these fasts will be a source of forgiveness for your sins and a reminder of the harms of disobeying the commandments of Allah Ta‘ala, in turn making you a more pious and practicing Muslim.

2. Even though you deceived your husband, that lie will not affect the validity of your nikah.  If you fear that sharing this information will bring more harm than good, then you should refrain from discussing this with him.  However, you should make sincere tawbah and a firm intention to avoid speaking lies again, especially to your husband.

And Allah knows best.
Mufti Abrar Mirza
Chicago, IL (USA)
Under the Supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai (South Africa)