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The Etiquette of Intercourse PDF Print E-mail
Kitabun Nikah [ The book of Marriage ] - intercours

The Etiquette of Intercourse

Question: What du'aa should be recited on the first night of marriage and what are the etiquette of sexual intercourse?

Answer: When meeting with the wife for the first time on the first night, the husband should hold her forelocks and recite:

Du?aa fatawa Rahimiyyah (vol.3 pg.230)

"O Allaah! I ask You for good in her and the good that You have created within her and I seek Your protection from the evil in her and the evil that You have created within her."

With the husband as Imaam and the wife following him, the couple should then perform two Rakaahs salaah as gratitude to Allaah, after which the should make du'aa to Allaah to foster love and unity between them.

A man once came to Hadhrat Abdullaah bin Mas'ood RADI. saying that he had just been married to a virgin, but feared that she may not like him and regard him as an enemy. Hadhrat Abdullaah bin Mas'ood RADI. replied, "Love is from Allaah and enmity is from Shaytaan' When you meet her, tell her to perform two Rakaahs salaah behind you and then make du'aa saying, "O Allaah! Bless me in my family and bless them in me. Provide for me through them and provide for them through me. O Allaah! Unite us with goodness and if we need separate. separate us in goodness.

No amount of gratitude can thank Allaah enough for the blessings of marriage and the Waleemah is intended to celebrate this. The husband should then behave lovingly and amicably towards his wife and should never concern himself with instilling awe into her. He must rather put her at ease and make her comfortable.

When the time arrives for intercourse, he must never engage her directly, but must start with foreplay. He must also wait for her to be satisfied before ejaculating and satisfying himself. Failure to do this will cause her to withdraw from him and may lead to eventual separation.

When engaging in intercourse, ensure that you are not facing towards the Qibla, that your heads are covered and that your bodies are covered and hidden even from little children. A Hadith mentions that when the couple are uncovered during intercourse. the angels leave in shame and the Shayaateen appear. They then have a share in the child that is born of the meeting.

These guidelines apply to every act of intercourse and not only the first night. Before intercourse, recite Bismillaah and then the du'aa. "O Allaah! Keep Shaytaan away from us and away from the offspring You bless us with." Remember these du'aa so that the children born are not swayed by Shaytaan. Then, when ejaculation takes place, recite the du'aa, "O Allaah! Let Shaytaan have no share in the children You bless us with." When the intercourse s over. make du'aa saying, "All praise belongs to Allaah Who has created man with water and created ties between them."

Hadhrat Abdullaah bin Abbaas RADI. reports from Rasulullaah SAW. that, when engaging in intercourse with his wife, if a man recites Bismillaah and the du'aa 'O Allaahl Keep Shaytaan away from us and away from the Offspring You bless us with'. the child conceived from the act will never be harmed by Shaytaan. it has also been reported from the pious predecessors that if a person fails to recite Bismillaah when engaging in intercourse. Shaytaan joins him in the act.

After intercourse, wash off any impurities on the body and if one intends to have intercourse again. he should at least make wudhu if he cannot bath. Never sleep without bathing and if you must (because it is too difficult to get to the bathroom. too cold or too difficult to get hot water)" do take a bath as soon as you wake. Never miss your salaah.

When a person fondles his wife. has intercourse with her and then takes a bath. he will be greatly rewarded for all of this. Hadhrat Aa?isha RADI. reports that Rasulullaah SAW. said. "When a man holds his wife's Hand with love. Allaah records for him the reward of a good deed. when he embraces her, he receives the reward of ten good deeds and when has intercourse with her. It is better for him than all that lies between the skies and earth When he then takes a bath. a good deed is recorded, a sin is forgiven and a level is elevated for every hair that the water passes over. There wards that he earns for the bath is greater than all that lies between the skies and earth Allaah then boasts about him before the angels saying. 'Look at this servant of Mine who, with conviction that i am his Rabb, has gone to sleep on this cold night after taking a bath to be purified" Be witness to the fact that I have forgiven him.

The couple should then not reveal to anyone what they do when they engage in intercourse because it is foolish and immoral to do so. In a lengthy Hadith. Hadhrat Abu Hurayrah RADI. reports that Rasulullaah SAW. once turned to the Sahabah RADI. and asked. "Is there any of you who goes to his wife, locks the door, covers himself and then carries out his act in private?" When the Sahabah RADI. replied in the affirmative, Rasulullaah SAW. added, "Thereafter, he sits (with people) and reveals all that he did." The Sahabah RADI. kept silent. Rasulullaah SAW. then turned to the female Sahabiyaat RADI. and asked. "Is there any amongst you who speak about this (to others)?" They also remained silent. A young lady then knelt on one knee and, making sure that Rasulullaah SAW. could see and hear her, she said, "The men as well as the women do this." To this. Rasulullaah SAW. remarked. "Those who do this are just like devils who meet in the street and then fulfil their lusts with each other in full view of all present."

Fatawa Rahimiyyah vol.3