General / Miscellaneous - Beliefs | |||
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According to Shariah, one is obliged to obey, respect and revere his parents in any condition or situation. Shariah disallows one to display any kind of ill treatment towards his/her parents even though they may be oppressive or even non Muslims. Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wasallam) said ?Whoever wakes up (in the morning) in a state where his parents are happy with him, two doors of Jannah are open for him. Whoever retires to bed in a state where his parents are pleased with him, he passes the night while two doors of Jannah remain open for him. Whoever passes the day in a state were his parents are unhappy with him, he passes the day while two doors of Jahannam are open for him?.It was asked (should we respect them) even though they oppress us? Nabi (salallahu alayhi wasallam) responded ?even though they oppress, even though they oppress?.
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It is therefore imperative that one does not compromise on showing respect and kindness towards ones parents. As part of respecting and revering ones own parents, is to show kindness and respect towards ones grandparents. The effect/result of respect or disrespect will have an impact to the reaction of ones parents. In reality, respecting ones grandparents will earn the pleasure of ones own parents and should be regarded as pleasing ones parents. Every individual in a family system has its own role and function. The father has his role, the mother has her role each child has his/her role. If each individual plays his/her role and respects the role of the other, there will be no instability in the family. You state that your grandmother tries to intimidate her grand daughter in law in front of others and furthermore tries to server the marriage relations with her grandson. You also state that the grandchildren are also suffering from her actions as she practices black magic. It is clear that the actions of the grandmother have created instability in the family. It is imperative that the husband re assures his family the confidence and love that he ought to give. Since his wife has been a victim of abuse, he needs to show more love and kindness to her. You should talk to her and comfort her through these difficult times. Apart from the above, it is important that the husband addresses the core issue being the grandmother. It does not mean that if he addresses the issue he is disrespectful. However, he should address the issue in an honourable and respectable manner. If the husband feels that his marital life is been jeopardized by her actions, he should consult with her children (uncles/aunts) if any, and relay the difficulties to them. He should inform them that his wife and children are suffering due to these occurrences. The children should then consult and devise a sound mechanism to avoid similar happenings in the future. If you do not have any other way out but to seek alternate accommodation for your grandmother, we suggest that you find such accommodation that is in the same vicinity or close by to you. This will enable you and your family to lead a normal healthy life without any fear of intimidation or otherwise as well as give you an opportunity to take care of your grandmother And Allah knows best Wassalam Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah
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