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Q: 255 ? Title: I have been engaged for many years, im 23 and my fiancee lives in another country. Somehow my heart fell for another and after sometime we began to commit zina.

Question

My question is complicated but inshallah you can guide me. I have been engaged for many years, im 23 and my fiancee lives in another country. Somehow my heart fell for another and after sometime we began to commit zina. At the time i was oblivious to islams teachings and blindly this carried on for sometime. I think as a punishment from allah my finacee who used to love me an enourmous amount began to have doubts about us as he became more and more religious he said 'i dont know why but i dont think we should get married'. I now know what i have done was so wrong, my fiancee is very pious muslim but the other man smokes, drinks, smokes asheesh has slpet with other women and is a constant liar i have found out, he also has a son and a wife who he hates. He is also very violent when i tell him i dont want to see him anymore. I feel im lost, i want to be a good muslim, i pray for iman and taqwaa from allah, i have begun praying 5 times now and i pray that i wont lose my fianc?e but i dont understand how i still want to see the other man even though i know how bad he is.

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Firstly, it is incumbent upon you to completely sever all contact with any non-mehram male immediately. There are many reasons why Shari?ah prohibited unnecessary contact with non-mehrams. Not only is it violating the command of Allah Ta?ala, but the great danger of it leading to zina is present as well. This is why Allah Ta?ala has clearly warned us in the Quran by saying, ?Do not even go close to zina!?

It is sad and unfortunate to learn that zina was committed in your case. However, we are pleased to hear that you have at least realized you have made a mistake and that you regret it. After immediately severing contact with this man, you should make abundant tawbah and istighfaar to Allah Ta?ala and sincerely ask for His forgiveness.

It is also pleasing to know that you are trying to attain more taqwa and have started to offer all five daily prayers. This is a big step towards the right direction. However, it is important to understand that in order for this to happen, you must stop seeing this man and being in any contact with him immediately. It is the influence of Shaytaan which has put the thoughts of you still wanting to see this man in your mind. You must be sincere when asking for forgiveness in order to overcome this.

It is also necessary to look for a spouse who has taqwa and is conscious of the Deen. A husband and wife must encourage each other at all times to obey the commands of Allah Ta?ala and they must always be there for each other in both good and bad times. If this is the case, then InshaAllah the children and offspring to come will also be pious.

You have stated that the man you are engaged to is a pious Muslim Alhamdulillah. Islam does not recognize the concept of engagement first of all so he is also a non-mehram to you. You should contact him through male members of your family and let them know that you are doing your best to change and have realized and regretted the mistakes you have made in the past. You must make dua to Allah Ta?ala to guide you properly on the right path and that you find a pious spouse who will also assist you and future children towards the right path. May Allah Ta?ala make it easy.

And Allah knows best

Wassalaamu `alaykum